Dear 18-Year-Old Me: 38 Lessons From 38 Years of Living, Loving, and Learning

Today I turn 38.

This birthday feels different — not heavier, just more honest. The past year pushed me to the very edge of what I thought I could handle, but in doing so, it peeled away the noise and revealed what truly matters.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, something steady began to take shape. It’s not fully formed, but it feels grounded — like a new beginning with deep roots. So I poured my coffee, let the light stretch across the table, and gave myself time to reflect on the years that brought me here.

So much has changed. So much has softened. And somewhere along the way, I’ve gathered a small collection of truths. Some whispered. Some wrestled. Some held close, others released.

Here they are — 38 lessons from 38 years. Not in any particular order. Just as they came. If I could sit beside my 18-year-old self, these are the lessons I’d gently place in her hands.

1. Be here now. This moment is enough. You don’t have to run ahead to feel worthy.

2. Listen with your whole self. Don’t just hear — understand.

3. Collect memories. Experiences are the real wealth.

4. Guard your time. Treat it like it’s something sacred — because it is.

5. Laugh. Deeply. Often. Especially when you feel far from it.

6. Find light in your work. There’s beauty in contribution, even in small ways.

7. Hold your boundaries. Let your yes be full and your no be kind.

8. Plan gently. Save when you can. Dream when you can’t.

9. Let the little things go. They rarely matter the way they pretend to.

10. Protect your peace. Rest isn’t lazy. It’s necessary.

11. Speak the truth with kindness. The right words matter more than the loud ones.

12. Choose kindness. Always. Even when it’s quiet. Especially then.

13. Have a vision. It doesn’t need to be a five-year plan. Just a soft thread to follow.

14. Let change in. Don’t grip so tightly to what was. Let it become what will be.

15. Be soft and strong. Resilience isn’t hardness — it’s elasticity.

16. Keep going. Some seasons are just one foot in front of the other.

17. Offer help. You have more to give than you realise.

18. Choose gentle company. Be with those who bring ease to your spirit.

19. Start. Don’t wait to be ready. You won’t be.

20. Feel with others. Empathy builds bridges where walls used to be.

21. Stay curious. Ask questions. Follow wonder.

22. Work with wisdom. Not everything needs your urgency.

23. Do work that feels true. It doesn’t have to be loud — just aligned.

24. Forgive. For your own freedom more than theirs.

25. Take ownership. Your life is yours to shape.

26. Let your failures teach you. They’re not detours — they’re part of the path.

27. Wait with grace. Life doesn’t always move on your schedule.

28. Say thank you. For the big things. The tiny things. The things you once begged to be different.

29. Stop measuring. There’s no prize for comparison.

30. Evolve. You’re allowed to change paths. Many times.

31. Care for your body. It carries all of you.

32. Keep learning. Stay open. Stay teachable. Stay curious.

33. Stay low to the earth. Humility keeps you grounded when the world spins fast.

34. Choose friends who feel like home. The ones who see you without you having to explain.

35. Nurture connection. People need people. Love takes tending.

36. Hold your humanness lightly. You’re allowed to not get it right.

37. Be who you are. You’re not here to be a copy.

38. Be here for the becoming. This life — it’s the unfolding that matters.

These are the lessons I’ve gathered — from heartache and healing, from beauty and ordinary days. Some are stitched into my bones now. Others I’m still learning, over and over.

If I could give you anything today, it would be this: you’re doing better than you think. You don’t have to know everything. Just stay close to what feels true. Trust the slow work of becoming. And let yourself be changed by it.